Today's 3,000 words were particularly tough. From writing Demon Knight last year, I remember that writing the end of the story is harder than writing the beginning. In my last post, I think, I wrote that the hardest part is starting a new project, but what I've found is that when you get past that first hurdle, the first part of the story is easy to write. I think of it in terms of chemistry (because I'm a bit of a science nerd). In a chemical reaction, there's an energy cost that has to be met to start the reaction, then once you get over that bump, the reaction runs at lower energy. What a catalyst does is it lowers the height of that first energy bump. If I can find a picture, maybe I'll add it in here:
So, NaNoWriMo works like a catalyst for me. It helps me get over the first energy requirement to get the reaction started. Then, from there the first part of the story goes easily. But, as the story goes on, I find it gets harder and harder to get the words out. Part of that is because I lose some of the excitement and energy that comes with starting a new project. But, I think part of that is because as the story goes on, I get more and more boxed in.
I think of it kind of like...I guess like a tree, or something like that. When you start, there are lots and lots of branches, and you're close to the edge, so you can do just about anything you want. But, as you go further and further in, there are fewer and fewer options, until you end up at the trunk with nowhere to go but straight down to the ground. Plus, you've got to keep track of everything that you've done up until then.
At the beginning you get to make all of the choices--what color are her eyes, what style of dress does she wear, what am I going to name this town. But by the end of the story, you have to remember what all of those choices were. He gazes down into her eyes, were they green or brown? She lifts the hem of her dress to step over a log, or did I make her skirt shorter so that she wouldn't have that problem? They return to the bustling metropolis of...what was that again?
But, even without those issues, the last few scenes seem to be the hardest for me to write. I have to be sure that I get it all right. They are the main purpose to read a book. Right? No one picks up a book and really enjoys the first few chapters, but is OK if the last part is crappy. Heck, I've read books, and loved books, where the first part was terrible, but it really picked up at the end and was really good. So, writing the end of a story brings with it a terrible onus. A requirement to be at least as good as everything else so far (along with maintaining the energy and the continuity) but preferably better.
With all of that, I can kind of understand authors who write their stories out of order. I could see why someone would write the last scene or scenes first. But, I just don't think I could ever do that. As much trouble as it is, I really enjoy the journey from beginning to end. And, I think if I wrote the end first, I would end up shoehorn-ing the story to fit this perfect ending that I have in my head.
In my method, I know kind of where I want to go, but I allow it to change and flux as I write. If another character decides he wants to come along, too. Why not? If the main character decides that she wants to have a crisis of faith and breakdown in the middle of the story, completely changing my intended theme. Well, I guess I can roll with that.
In the end (no pun intended, but it is kind of funny), it all leads up to what I hope with be a believable and exciting finale for my story, which I'm hoping to write tomorrow.
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